Chalk Talk #10 – Why Do You Fail Yourself

As some of you know, I am currently going through “Hell Month”. A month of crazy weight loss challenges. I am now near the end of the first week and I know it’s going to be a challenging month to keep everything up. While looking to the future of what this month holds it made me think of what will come after that. After that, it’s simply more of the same but to a less extreme. Which means, more monitoring what I eat, more work outs, more effort, more exhaustion. In the same note, the thought comes into my head, when will it end? When will I be able to stuff my face as much as want holding nothing back? When can I avoid early morning workouts and sore muscles? When will the struggle be over?

In short, the answer is well, never. The answer to those questions is crippling. It’s the reason why we give up on ourselves. It’s the reason doubt fills our mind when we think about going on a diet or pursing a goal of any sort. It’s the fear that doing something different could permanently take us out of our comfort zone. It’s why we fail ourselves.

At the end of the day, when the real talk happens, it’s safe to say that doing anything in life is incredibly hard. Making any sort of life style change whether it’s starting a business, changing jobs, or trying to lose weight, just freaking sucks. It’s so damn hard.

To me, kids, jobs, family life, most health issues, or any other outside force you can think of that is holding you back from reaching your goals is simply a temporary issue. If you put in the work, you will find ways to work around those issues or make the necessary changes so that those issues are issues no longer.

What I am here to talk to you about is the issue of your mind. The issue of getting your head in a right place. You see when doing anything outside of your routine, especially when your making a huge life changing decision, your mind wants to know when it can expect the suffering to end. Your mind wants to know, when will the light at the end of the tunnel appear. How long do we have to do something to get back to where we are now. Because we know where we are now. We know what our day looks like, we know what challenges we face, and we know our daily routine that keeps us safe and content.

The problem with our caveman mind as I’ve mentioned before is that our mind is conditioned and built to keep us safe. Not built for us to thrive and take risks. Risks get you killed, staying in your place keeps you safe, it’s simple evolution.

When attempting to step into this long dark tunnel and you tell yourself its never going to end, or you will always have to watch what you eat, your mind tells you to stop and give up. It’s too long, it won’t work, you will fail, it’s too damn hard.

See what your mind is hiding from you though is the fact that you could and do actually gain by going into that tunnel. Because if you force yourself to take the risk and start walking, the tunnel will eventually expand. It can expand so big that you end up swallowing the sun. Then you have found the light within that tunnel. It’s no longer dark and scary, and that’s an insanely important point to remember.

What I mean by that tunnel expanding is two fold.

First, what you first view as a challenge and something that makes you scared and uncomfortable will eventually become comfortable. You can apply that to anything. An example could be leaving your comfortable job for a different opportunity that you believe will benefit you more than your current position.

Second, by exploring that dark tunnel, eventually it could lead to opportunities that would have never presented themselves otherwise. For example, by losing weight and getting healthy it could allow you to perform different tasks at a different job that could provide you more money and allow to do more things.

I say that your tunnel is expanding because you will still want to continue doing whatever it is that got your tunnel to expand. If it was eating better and losing weight, if you stop doing that then eventually your weight could go back to where it was and you might again not be able to perform the needed tasks at your job. Obviously this is a really simple example but you can see what I mean by that. By expanding your tunnel, you still are living within that tunnel but you brought the light into it rather than searching for the light at the end. You become comfortable with your day to day. You become comfortable with the process and then suddenly what is at the end of that tunnel doesn’t really matter.

When you understand that it’s not about getting “through” it but rather enjoying the ride, life because much more enjoyable. The process becomes much more enjoyable. You also realize that your biggest fear wasn’t really that big of deal after all.

Remember that every single one of us grow old and die. Though life is long, its finite. Eventually all of your struggles will end and all you will have left is the memories you have made and the accomplishments of what you left behind. Some people say “it’s better to believe in a god just in case there is one.” I would say “It’s better to live this life to your absolute fullest, because this life might be all you ever get”. Don’t let the past, present or future overwhelm you. Live your life with passion and drive and seek out things that are hard so you can grow from them. Continue to grow and be forever expanding your tunnel. Find your own light and don’t be content with waiting until the end.

You’re not getting any younger.

 

Bench

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